Outside Reading #4- pgs. 147-186

As part one of this book comes to a close, the author begins to examine whats wrong with Billy and some of the mental problems he may have had. One of the eight people who evaluated Billy found his intelligence to be pretty average, but "the fact that Billy was very verbally reticent may have spuriously lowered his verbal IQ score" (148). Billy was found to have "extreme learning problems in reading and spelling" because of "a behavioral disorder, and previously poor classroom survival skills" (148). Billy did attempt to make a cry for help to a different social director, telling her of "his father's drinking, of the whippings, the verbal abuse, and the violent altercations of his parents" (149). However the only result in this statement, was the social director going immidiately to the parents about the suggested problems. When Linda and Bill Sr. asked Billy about what he said, he automatically denied saying anything out of fear of being beat. Jody explains in her 1999 affidavit, "from my brother's stories, I learned that reporting parental abuse would only lead to more of the same" (150). These kids were so used to physical and mental abuse, they were scared out of their minds to do anything about it. They would try and tell someone, but all that resulted in was more of the same activities at home. Billy had been said to be living solely on impulse. And the author goes to explain that "impulsiveness, the tendency to act without thinking, is associated with a host of chronic and debilitating behaviors: alcoholism, drug abuse, smoking, eating disorders, attention deficit disorders, aggression, personality disorders, as well as suicide" (153). Oh and Billy was later quoted saying, "If I could be alone, up a tree, stoned, that was really nice. Peaceful" (152). In other words, Billy both sold and was a user of marijuana. However, it is possible that this impulsiveness was somewhat hereditary. So if we assume that this way of acting on impulse was partly because of having a alcoholic, violent dad along with the use of marijuana, "Billy's biological makeup would have made him particularly vulnerable to that same volatile father, who traumatized him routinely and provided ulimited emotionally disorienting early experiences" (154).

The pages grow thin, but a whole other side to Billy is still being shown. His intentions really were good, but because of everthing that happened, his actions to what he thought were definitely not the best way to fix things. Jody goes to to tell Kathryn, the author, that Linda was abused as well as her and Billy. And that Billy was actually trying to stand up to his father and stop the beating of his mom. But then, Bill Sr. would turn to Billy. Billy tells us, "Part of the problem was that my dad felt like I took sides with her, against him, because I stepped in sometimes when he was gonna hit her. It wasn't that I took her side or that I thought she was right. Just that I wanted to stop him from hitting her" (155). When the author heard this response in a interview with him in jail, she couldn't help but ask why he would try to stop. His voice quieted, and said "you're not supposed to...you don't hit women" (155). This quote really impacted me. I mean, after everything he has gone through, chivalry still exsists somewhere in his being. He knows that its wrong to hit women, and he stands by that.

I guess a theme to this half of the book, is that because one could inhabit a sinister emotional way of thinking after every traumatic thing, one after the other, one is expected to think of the most damaging outcome to a given situation.

Harrison, Kathryn. "While They Slept". New York: Random House, 2008.

Outside Reading #3- pgs. 99-146

This new chapter in the book brings to light the early years of Billy. What went wrong that made him snap and fly off the handle? When he was 15 years old, Billy and his parents went to go meet with someone who works for Children's Services. He had a caseworker whom evaluated his behaviors and moods on a regular basis. The caseworker said in an assessment, "I believe that Billy is a very troubled you man. Billy is withdrawn and impulsive. It appears that Billy responds to others in whichever way will give him the most attention. He refuses to divulge his memories of his past. I believe this is because he does not want to deal with his emotions. Psychological tests indicated that Billy is a very sensitive person and easily hurt. I believe that Billy is suppressing much hurt and/or anger. He has also found that as long as he attracts attention by doing either responsible or irresponsible acts, he never has time to deal with his inner thoughts and feelings" (100). The social worker strongly suggested Billy be sent to a reform school, and Linda asked Jody what she thought about that. Jody immidiately said he should go. This hasty answer suprised our author in an interview, and she finds that "Billy's creeping into Jody's bedroom late at night, while she was sleeping, with the purpose of molesting her..." (101). So we begin to learn that yes, Billy loved his sister so much, but did he love her almost too much? Or in the wrong way? We can't really know for sure, but we do know that there was more going on then first said. And by the way, Billy later denied this ever happening, and said it was their father. The social worker still released Billy back to his parents, and a week later he was charged for burglary in the first degree, and also arson in the first degree.

The following chapter explains in detail exactly how Billy Gilley murdered his parents and younger sister. I'm not going to go into extreme detail, but we'll leave it at that Billy murdered his sleeping father first, then moved onto his mother, asleep in the next room. Becky was in that room and he sent her upstairs to Jody. Becky obliged, being half asleep, but quickly returned after Jody got frustrated with her for waking her up. Meanwhile, Billy was beating his mother to death. Jody heard Becky scream, many thuds of the bat, and silence. Then Billy came upstairs to Jody's room. Jody heard him coming, and contemplated jumping out of her window, sure that Billy was coming to kill her next. And then he came upstairs. "The first thing he said was about Becky. That he was sorry he killed her and that we were free. And over and over he said he wasn't crazy" (144).

Outside Reading #2- pgs. 56-98

As I continue to read this family tragedy, I can't help relate it back to King Lear since that is what we just watched in class this week. A whole family is completely destroyed after being heavily influenced by their internal issues. King Lear asks his daughters to express their love for him and becomes mad when Cordelia fails to do so. He banishes her in a fit of rage. Now, none of the Gilley kids were thrown out of their house, but Billy did run away multiple times. After one particular time when Bill Sr. threatened to kill Billy Jr. and went to go get his gun, Billy believed him becuase "Bill sounded angry enough and had threatened to kill his son often enough that Billy wasn't inclined to wait around and see what happened. Before his father came after him he took off across the field and hid himself in a shed behind Kathy Ackerson's house" (66). In these next chapters, it goes back in time to when Linda and Bill Sr. were newlyweds fresh out of Vegas at a extremely young age. It is explained that whenever there were problems in the relationship, Bill Sr. "ran off with another girl leaving Linda and the baby (Billy Jr.) for months without any money or any food" (58). I can't imagine the type of person that would run off and abandon the family they were supposed to protect and love. But then again, nothing in this book is exactly 'the norm.' Some of the flashbacks and accounts of what happened are so apalling its hard to imagine it really did happen. The main thing that contradicts this apparant hostile and violent 18 year old boy, is the fact that he was deeply affectionite for his younger siblings. This is shown in a confrontation with his mom. Billy says, "I told my mom she couldn't expect me to stop protecting Jody" (62). So this completely shows another side to Billy's apparant violent personality.

I guess the only main idea to be pulled out of this next part of the narrative, is that there are two sides to everyone, and even though yes, Billy did a horrendous act, at the time he sincerely thought that he was doing something for the common good and 'freedom' for himself and surviving sister. I can't even imagine having to suffer that kind of abuse at home and I think its terrible that these young kids that were our age, had to endure everything they did. This doesn't however, give Billy permission to kill his family. Sure, Jody and Billy both fantasized about life without their parents, but Jody was never serious about it, and never realized that Billy was. The ending to this chapter leaves us with a cliffhanger about Billy's life in prison. It will be interesting to see his side of what happened.

Outside Reading #1- pgs. 3-55

For my 3rd quarter outside reading book, I am reading "While They Slept" by Kathryn Harrison. The book starts out with a preface by the author, explaining that this is in fact a true story and that the facts were pulled from actual interviews and documents by investigators and police officers and therapists. She compares herself with the main character, Jody Gilley, by telling her own personal family tragedy. The Gilley's story is one that literally made me have to stop, close the book, and just think for a second or so about what I just read. And the tragedy that is spoken about, is a unbelievable loss to Jody and Billy. On April 27, 1984, Billy Gilley killed his mother, father, and youngest sister Becky by beating them to death with a baseball bat. The only one spared, was the middle sibling, Jody. The book is set up into two main parts; the before, and the after. Throughout both parts, the author switches point of view between the murderer, Billy Gilley, and his sister, the sole survivor of the Gilley family, Jody. Someone may wonder what on earth provokes an eighteen year old boy to murder his entire family, but Jody describes the relationship between father and son by saying, "working for our father, Billy endured relentless verbal assaults. He was incompetent, dad said, worthless" (53). Someone might say well yeah, but a lot of people go through verbal abuse but don't go and kill their families. Well, that might be true...if thats all that was going on. All three of the Gilley children were severely beaten throughout their childhood. No matter how small the argument, it always ended badly. Some of the punishments involved throwing things at the children, pinning them down and blowing cigarette smoke in their face, and lacked any words of affection or encouragement (30). According to Jody's neighborhood friend Kathy Ackerson, Linda Gilley was "very controlling. Jody had to sneak around to do things she wanted to do. Things most parents considered harmless. Not only did Jody have more than her share of household chores...the laundry, the dishes, and the cooking, but while she worked, Linda just sat around and smoked cigarettes" (31-32). The Gilley kids basically raised themselves over the years with very severe punishments for doing anything wrong. I guess in some terms, Billy could be seen as a ticking time bomb. Poked and prodded for to long. Aggravated by his parents physical and mental abuse just one time to many. Until finally....he just exploded.

Since I'm just starting the book and it is a non-fiction selection, there aren't really any author created themes to discuss, but a possible theme is that when one is forced to turn the other cheek to abuse of any type, eventually, there really can't be a total happy ending. People hear of abuse issues on the news and the homicides and suicides, but very rarely is a case of patricide or matricide heard of. Therefore, they are generally unknown topics. 'Patricide' is the murder of one's parents, and 'matricide' is the killing of one's mother. Both these forms of killing are mentioned repeatedly in this dark true story. So far, this book is an extremely fast read, full of questions and possibilities that can only be found out by reading and comprehending.

Family vs. Society

I think the best example of someone either choosing society or family in All My Sons, is that Joe Keller shipped out those cracked cylinder heads in the hope that someone would realize they were faulty and ship them back which would give him more time to keep his son at home, and not at war. He wants to protect his son and the rest of his family so badly that he put everything on the line to try and make that possible. However, he chose to not put family first when he didn't say anything to his family or the family of the man wrongly accused. When the truth finally does come out, Keller justifies his actions by insisting that he did it for his family. His wife doesn't help matters either. She refuses to believe that her son, Larry, is dead. She says, "Your brother's alive...because if he's dead, your father killed him. Do you understand me now?...God does not let a son be killed by his father." (156;66). Joe tries to explain why he did what he did when confronted by his other son Chris. He is quoted saying, "there's nothin' he could do that i wouldn't forgive. Because he's my son...I'm his father and he's my son, and if there's something bigger than that I'll put a bullet in my head!" (163;73).
In my opinion, I think it was wrong for Joe to knowingly send off those parts. Not only was the life of his own son immediately put at risk, he put the lives of 21 other pilots in the same danger. He took someone else's sons by doing what he did and it wasn't right. I can also understand where he is coming from though. If my family was in danger of something, and if I could actually do something about it, there is nothing that could stop me from getting it done. I think that it all depends on the situation. I think it's only right to do something maybe a bit risky to protect your family only if nobody else gets hurt by whatever you do. You also can't always listen to society. You have to learn to stand up and speak up when you think something is wrong. It could hurt somebody, but maybe to someone else it could be the greatest thing that ever happened. If a bunch of people are at risk of getting hurt, then I don't think its fair to endanger them for your own family. But when it comes to the greater good of everyone, then yes, stand up to society and to what you believe is right.